(ETX Daily Up) – For our friends, we stand ready to be a support in the toughest times. However, some people come to us only when problems arise and disappear immediately after, when everything is back to normal. In contact with them, one feels exhausted, even drained of all energy. These people would be what we call “energy vampires”.
In recent times, more and more posts have been scrolling with the hashtag “energy vampire”, gathering nearly 10 million views on TikTok. People tell how they have felt exhausted and abandoned by their friends, who only come back when they are not well. “They are people as soon as they come into your life, everything goes wrong. (…) They are very nice people, but as you go along, you feel bad in their presence, you feel anxious” , explains the French influencer Emilie Talkin one of his videos.
The metaphorical term “energy vampire” refers to a person who drains the mental and emotional energy of others. She takes advantage of their listening skills and their empathy to meet her own needs, and does not offer her support in return. This widely used term in psychology has become more popular in everyday language, but is still struggling to be identified by the greatest number. In an interview with the media Psych Centraltherapist Jasmine Cobb explains that these people are usually co-dependent. Their negative attitude, complaints, and demand for attention can drain the positive energy of others, leaving them emotionally drained and empty. This phenomenon may be similar to “trauma dumping”which defines the irrepressible need to share emotions related to traumatic events. According to medical experts, this type of friendship is toxic, as it can create anxiety, sadness, stress, low self-esteem, and even social isolation.
To recognize this type of person, here are some signs that may tell you that you are facing an “energy vampire”. Demands a lot of attention, makes you feel anxious and tired after you’ve been around him, is very self-centered and shows very little interest in you, blames others for everything, has a victim mentality, exaggerates all of his problems, has a constant negative attitude, and is rarely there for you.
In posts shared on TikTok, Internet users give advice on how to protect themselves from this type of friendship. A young internet user,the blow-up secrets”, advises for example to impose limits on this type of friend. “We meet people who often have negative vibes and who make us feel that it’s up to us to change their mood. The best thing is to set limits on such people”. You can also distance yourself, by not inviting them to interact with you anymore. Having a more neutral reaction to their problems can also help avoid them, as they are constantly looking for a reaction when they want your support. In an interview for NBC NewsChristiane Northrup, author of the book “Dodging Energy Vampires,” advises the “broken wing” strategy. When the Energy Vampire attempts to solicit you, you can tell them that you are feeling unwell or tired. “They don’t want to be around someone who doesn’t have the energy to give back.”